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May 2008        What's In It for Us?  by Kennette Reed
     Relationships that meet the needs of all parties are often called win-win. Since we all make decisions based on some form of benefit analysis, it is important to consider the needs of all parties involved in the decision. If the other person's needs are not taken into consideration, the relationship will most likely be short-term. Why is this?
     We might tell our self, we have a desire to give with no expectation of return or benefit, but we are always thinking about the benefit. Delayed benefits may be acceptable, but there must always be some payoff, or we will eventually decide to spend our time, effort, money, knowledge, experience, or energy elsewhere. The benefit provided to the parties involved may not be obvious, but it must be evident.
     Even when we do charitable work, the benefit is predominately for others. However, the good feelings that come from contribution and service, satisfies the contributor's personal needs. Any type of relationship (family, friendship, community service, or business) should keep win-win principles as the base for a cooperative relationship. Use these ideas to create and maintain mutually beneficial relationships:
     1. Be honest with yourself and the other parties in the relationship about who you are, and what your needs are. Let them know what you expect from the relationship. To do this, you must first be clear about your needs, expected outcomes, etc.
     2. Relationships that do not serve your needs, and the needs of others, are not honest relationships. Someone is feeling deprived, but is unable or unwilling to admit it. These relationships are not healthy or mutually beneficial. 
     3. Mutually beneficial relationships are about looking at the needs of all parties, and constructing agreements where they feel heard, considered, and included. It's about compromise, bargaining, and working toward mutual benefit.
     4. Think in terms of abundance. Don't focus on limitations, lack, or competitiveness. Focus on opportunities, benefits, and the resources that are abundant (talent, energy, knowledge, enthusiasm, etc.). Look for creative solutions to challenges.  
     Mutually beneficial relationships consider what works for "us". Selfishness and false pride never benefit all parties to the relationship. These behaviors and emotions only serve the interests of those exhibiting them.
     I close with the words of a great leader and humanitarian, "It's win-win to always seek the interests of all parties" - Gandhi
Kennette Reed


Principal,
Kennette Reed & Associates

Performance Improvement and Success Coaching


Kennette is the author of

From Idea to Author,

Discovering Your Passion,

and
Steps Along Your Path


Kennette also has a blog


e-mail

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